Girl Power at the VMA

Tween idols Taylor Swift and Beyonce Knowles were both honored at the VMA Awards on MTV tonight. You may have heard about the scandal caused when Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for Best Female Video (saying that it should have gone to Beyonce).
On so many levels this incident at the VMAs is amazing for girls to witness (although probably via Tivo given the late Sunday hour of the show). Ms. Swift showed incredible grace under pressure after being disrespected in a very public way during what should have been a wonderful moment for her. She then went on to perform live in the NY Subway for the show. Her professionalism and grace were lessons in how to rise above pettiness and disrespect.
Ms. Knowles also performed a very long, strenuous and complicated act live for the show and was later awarded Best Music Video. During what should have been one of her most exciting moments, she invited Ms. Swift to the stage to continue her acceptance speech. Class all the way.
So often society and the media pit women against each other and revel in the "cat fight." Tonight, two of the most talented women in a very melodramatic and intense industry showed how to de-escalate a ridiculous situation, show respect towards each other, and honor their fans. Congratuations, and thank you.

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Melanie Oudin's Cinderella Shoes

Melanie Oudin may be out of this year's Open, but she gained legions of new fans and re-energized the game. The seventeen year old tennis phenom has worn custom Adidas tennis shoes during her play at the U.S. Open. While most athletes choose to personalize their shoes with their names, Ms. Oudin had the word "BELIEVE" put on the heel of her sneakers instead. (At Arthur Ashe Stadium, 'Believe' by Cher was played over the PA system after Oudin's many wins.) After this year's tournament, it's clear that Ms. Oudin has several more believers as well.

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First Tweens' Back to School Rules

First Tweens Malia and Sasha Obama have some pretty strict rules to follow since going back to school at Sidwell Friends this week. The First Lady spoke about her self-discipline and school night rules in the October 2009 issue of Women's Health magazine.

No staying up late to watch Glee - the Obama girls are not allowed to watch television or use the computer during the week. Those privileges are reserved for the weekend only. (And after watching tonight's episode of Glee and finding it wholly inappropriate for tweens, I may adopt Mrs. Obama's rule too.)

Family dinners are sacred - even the President makes this a priority. “Dad’s office is just downstairs, and it’s rare that we don’t have dinner together. No matter what’s going on, he sets aside that time,” the First Lady said.

The First Family also says grace together at dinner, and each person shares what happened in his or her day. I love this idea! In our house, we have a similar rule: each person must share at least one good thing and one bad thing (if there was one) about their day.

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Back to School Resolution #4: Make New Friends

Part four of the series Top Ten Back to School Resolutions for tweens and their parents:

Back to School Resolution #4: Make new friends.

Or, "Hang out with new people but still keep in touch with old friends." A new school year and/or a new school also means an opportunity to meet new people. While that can be scary, it's also something that tweens can find energizing. What struck me most when hearing this resolution from tweens was how universal this goal is – I heard it from sporty girls, drama girls, rocker girls, city girls, country girls – all around. Tweens are still working out who they are and exploring a variety of interests, and social groupings are often still fluid. It makes sense that tweens still want to meet people from a wide variety of backgrounds with different interests.

As parents, we are often left wondering when our little girl in pigtails who loves soccer and glitter was replaced by the sullen and moody changeling in front of us – and then by how fast she returned. Such is the nature of pre-adolescence. We cannot choose her friends anymore than we can choose her interests, but we can help her navigate how to form and keep friendships. Social skills are still developing, and tweens are trying to make sense of all the dynamics around them. Sharing our experiences with friendship and how relationships can change over time lends some perspective. It can be eye-opening to realize that one cannot get everything from one friend, and that having a network of different friends and groups to draw from can be a source of strength and comfort. Authors such as Rachel Simmons (Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl) and Rosalind Wiseman (Queenbees and Wannabes, among others) have done extensive research on the social dynamics of tween girls, and their findings and case studies have broad application for parents and school administrators.

Is your tween nervous or not about meeting new people? How do you help her in this regard? I’d love to hear your Back to School tips for tweens – send me a tweet at www.twitter.com/MsTwixt or post your comment below.

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Is Glee for Tweens?

Is Fox's new series about a high school glee club, Glee, for tweens?

This series debuted in the spring to rave reviews, and our tweens LOVED it (although we were very liberal with the Mute and Fast Forward buttons on our Tivo). The soundtrack is phenomenal, and Gen X and Boomer parents will certainly appreciate the music - when Glee's premiere ran in May, songs from the show were the number one download on iTunes and the pilot was the most viewed video on Hulu.com. The series has even inspired a new term for its fans: "Gleeks"

There are some fairly mature issues addressed in the script including bullying/cyberbullying, homophobia, and some sexual innuendo, but the show's overarching themes are centered on inclusivity, cooperation, and acceptance - all good things that parents would want to instill in their kids. (National Bullying Awareness Month is in October BTW)

A parenting media site, CommonSenseMedia, rates Glee as appropriate for age 14+ and perhaps age 13. That being said, movies about high school musical groups/troupes are spawning like crazy - witness the High School Musical series, Nickelodeon's version of HSM: Spectacular, ABC Family's Another Cinderella Story starring Selena Gomez and Drew Seeley, BandSlam with Vanessa Hudgens, and the re-make of Fame. And Glee isn't the only television series about school musicals: ABC Family has Ruby and the Rockits, there's Disney Channel's Hannah Montana series (which has launched the musical careers of Miley Cyrus, Mitchel Musso and Emily Osment), and rumors of another series in the works. Television is more accessible to tweens because they don't require paid admission so more tweens can see them - but should they? Glee's star, Cory Monteith has described Glee as “It’s as if ‘High School Musical’ had been punched in the stomach and had its lunch money stolen.”

The raw talent of Glee's cast, the intelligence of the writing, positive and upbeat themes, and broad appeal of the concept make it easily likeable. Where do you come out on this issue - are you letting your tween watch Glee?


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Former Tween Queen Lindsay Lohan Named Creative Director for Ungaro

Former tween queen Lindsay Lohan, star of Disney's The Parent Trap re-make and Mean Girls, was just named as a Creative Director for the upscale fashion house Ungaro. Her role will be to serve as an "artistic advisor" to Ungaro's new Chief Designer Estrella Archs.

Ms. Lohan is widely known for her keen and edgy fashion sense, and the deal was apparently cliched during Ungaro CEO Mounir Moufarrige's visit to Lohan's Los Angeles home. "Her home is like a department store," he said. "You have to sit on the floor because the settees, chairs and tables are covered with clothes and accessories." The collection will debut during Paris Fashion Week (October 4).

This is not the actress' first contribution to the fashion world: this summer she launched a line of leggings, 6126: www.6126collection.com

To be named Creative Director for a leading fashion house is every tween girl's dream! Best of luck to Ms. Lohan in her new venture!


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New Back to School Tradition: the Schultute

Today was the girls' first day back at school, and we started a new tradition in our family this year for Back to School: the Schultute. We have usually given the girls a little gift to celebrate the beginning of the school year, and a few years ago I learned of a tradition in Germany of giving children schultute, or a cone of little gifts, on their first day of school.

Truth be told, I was too overwhelmed in past years to take on a new project, but this year I figured I'd give it a go. It was quite painless (even though I had to make three of them, it was still painless), and these were a HUGE hit with our tweens! I'm told that one can buy empty cones online, but I made ours with a piece of posterboard and some extra wrapping tissue lying around - SUPER cheap. I filled the girls' cones with fun little items for their bookbags and lockers: lip gloss, gum, hand sanitizer, tissue packs, cool mechanical pencils, mini Japanese erasers, a little Ugly doll key ring, socks, and school gym shorts.

What items would you add to a schultute?

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Back to School Resolution #3

Part three of the series Top Ten Back to School Resolutions for tweens and their parents:

Back to School Resolution #3: Participate more.

This resolution was a bit surprising to hear tween girls articulate – I expected to hear it from parents and teachers about girls and was so glad to hear it from the girls themselves. To strive to participate more in class – also articulated as “Raise my hand more often” and “Pay more attention/ask more questions” – demonstrates a level of self awareness that is amazing to hear from 7 to 14 year old girls. It makes sense that students who engage more in class get more out of class because they are active in the dialogue and mentally present. One of the best tips I heard for achieving this goal also came from a tween: set a goal of making one comment a day in any class; once you’ve lived to tell the tale, it’s not so scary and makes it much easier the next time. To raise confident and competent girls, we need to coach them to take risks by either volunteering an answer or asking questions to clarify her knowledge. By putting herself out there and increasing class participation, girls become more self-confident and little “failures” (like an incorrect answer) only pave the way for greater successes. In the President’s speech to school kids today he also spoke about taking risks (using himself and Michael Jordan as examples) and learning how to fail because without making mistakes, one cannot improve.

As a parent gearing up for the new school year, I am also feeling a renewed sense of commitment to my children’s schools. Education funding is hurting at all levels, and schools need their PTAs and PTOs more than ever. It is in that spirit that I find myself signing up for one extra volunteer task and moving my schedule to accommodate at least some of those parent meetings. So this year I resolve to take those extra steps to stay informed and to participate – I want to be aware of any changes our schools will need to make in this economic climate and be sure that add my voice to the dialogue.

As you send your kids back to school, how are you dealing with the calls for extra help from parents? Participate! Add your voice to the dialogue! Please post your comment below or send me a tweet at www.twitter.com/MsTwixt.


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President Obama's Back to School Speech

President Obama broke the news during his interview with tween reporter Damon Weaver that he would address all school kids in America this fall. The Presidential Address is scheduled for 12pm EST on September 8th, but the White House released President Obama's prepared remarks today.

Presidents Reagan and Bush also addressed American school kids during their terms. President Obama will be speaking live locally from Wakefield High School in Arlington, VA. His remarks are meant to inspire and motivate kids of all ages returning to school this month.

Do you think First Tweens Malia and Sasha helped him to write this speech?

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The First Tweens' Excellent Summer Adventure

First Tweens Malia and Sasha Obama will certainly have a lot to say when asked "What did you do over the summer?" The girls return to Sidwell Friends School tomorrow, entering 6th and 3rd grades respectively. They spent their summer traveling to countries on four continents and took in a few American sites as well.

They began their summer in June in Paris, visiting the Eiffel Tower, the Pompidou Center, the Louvre and Notre Dame Cathedral. Then they hopped over the Channel to London where Sasha celebrated her 8th birthday on June 10th. This amazing birthday celebration was held on the set of the final Harry Potter movie and was attended by cast and crew, including J.K. Rowling! In London, the Obama ladies toured Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, and the Tower of London and even met the Queen! Part of the birthday celebration included taking in a show (a must-do in the London's vibrant theatre district) - The Lion King.

Malia Obama celebrated her 11th birthday on July 4th here in Washington (there's nothing like a fireworks for one's birthday!). The First Family then went to Moscow on July 6th where the First Tweens toured the Kremlin, took in a concert and met with Russia's First Lady. Then it was off to Rome where the girls learned to make gelato at one of Italy's most famous gelaterias - Giolitti, met the Pope, and toured the Parthenon and the Colosseum.

The girls visited their fourth continent, Africa, on a visit to Ghana. In addition to seeing Ghana's vibrant culture and dance traditions, the First Family spent some solemn moments at Cape Coast Castle in Accra where Africans used to be imprisoned before being shipped into slavery. The President said he hoped that seeing the former slave fortress would help his daughters, "who are growing up in such a blessed way," to understand their obligation to fight oppression and cruelty.

The First Tweens spent the rest of their summer holiday State-side. They visited sites local to the Washington area in late July: Luray Caverns in West Virginia and Monticello and Charlottesville in Virginia (we blogged about those trip details here). The Obama ladies also took a day trip to Philadelphia in early August to tour a few historical sites including Betsy Ross' house (we blogged about those trip details here). Mid-August saw the First Family at Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Canyon (more details here), and by late August the girls were on the beach on Martha's Vineyard.

Their scrapbooks must be full! The First Tweens met the Pope, the Queen of England, and dined with the Presidents of France and Russia - all in one summer. Those dignitaries are no Jonas Brothers, but what an amazing opportunity to see the world and learn for these young ladies.

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