Camp Gear for Tweens

'Tis the season to gear up for camp. Whether your tween is headed to sleepaway camp or on a summer getaway, here are our picks to keep her in fun fearless fashion all summer long:

Neon is a big trend this year (Exhibit A: tweens at One Direction concerts), and we think these neon duffle bags in neon yellow and neon pink are not only right on trend but also practical (because they help her to find her bag in the crowd). $97 from Deux Lux

She can never have enough towels for the beach or pool, so we found these adorable seahorse towels (bonus: they're on sale!). $20 on sale from Lands End

For those camp color wars, face paint that's easy to apply allow her to deck herself and her cabin-mates out in team colors. At the shop we stocked Sport Face because it was super easy to apply and was no-fuss (think ChapStick as face paint - no brushes needed). $3.50 for two from SportFace.com

One of our tweens is on a swim team, so we go through a lot of swimsuits. Our favorite brand has a funny name: Dolfin Uglies. These suits are so NOT ugly - they have the most fun prints we've seen! We especially love that they stand-up to a lot of wear and have terrific, sporty-cuts. The best deals for Dolfins seem to be online at SwimOutlet.com; prices range from $20-38

We loathe the lugging of multiple bottles on every outing, so we look for products that do double-duty. Avon's Skin So Soft makes an SPF30 sunscreen combined with a bug repellent that works perfectly for our tweens. It's on sale now, 2 for $15.00 at Avon.com

'Speaking of sun protection, here's another fun product mash-up: UV sensitive craft beads. We're sending our tweens to camp this year with packets of color-changing UV energy beads that she can craft into friendship bracelets, hair barrettes, bag tags, and more. Packets of 500 beads are $17 from Steve Spangler Science

Sadly our tweens' mom (yours truly) is not talented in the hair style department, so we always look admiringly at the cute hair styles done by Mindy at CuteGirlsHairstyles. Her Fourth of July glow-in-the-dark bun looks easy enough that even we could manage it, and the fun Glowby sticks are perfect for tucking into camp care packages. Glowby's are $5/apiece and come in 8 colors

Make it easy for her to send letters home or keep in touch with friends the old-fashioned way: by writing letters. Especially for those no-electronics camps, fun stationary is a must. We love these fun, no-fuss send and seal stationary packs from Iscream. $6.80 for a packet of 40 cards - just add stamps and she's good to go!

What are your tween's summer camp essentials? Please share your tips!



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A Braces Care Package

Our eldest tween got braces on yesterday - oh the drama! MsTwixt recalls being excited to get her braces when she was a tween because it was a rite of passage into teenager-hood. Alas, our tween was/is traumatized by the event.

To help ease the pain, both literally and figuratively, we ducked into our local supermarket and put together a quick care package (for whatever reason, it hadn't occurred to me to anticipate this drama). Her orthodontist warned us that the first few days would be quite sore, so soft foods would help. Here's what we included:

• Ibuprofen (for the pain)
• A magazine (to hopefully distract her a bit)
• Foods her orthodonist said she could eat:
• Smooth ice creams with no nuts or candy (her favorite are the Starbucks flavors) - we covered their tops with freezer tape labeled "For braces ONLY" to ward off her siblings (and her dad)
• Applesauce
• Pudding cups
• Yogurt cups
• Lip balm (to help soothe some very chafed lips)
• Disposable toothbrushes like Wisp (to ensure she can still make it to class on time after lunch)
• Balloons in her favorite color sporting big smiles with braces

Other items that would be great to include: straws, a stuffed animal with braces embroidered on, dental wax, special orthodontic toothbrushes, orthodontic dental floss, and a travel mirror.

The care package brought a smile back to her face - mission accomplished! 

The list of foods she should avoid was long, so we're researching options for substitutes that she can enjoy (e.g. Pirate's Booty instead of popcorn at the movies) - PLEASE share your tips for braces-safe food swaps!

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Lessons Learned From Middle School: A Tween Parent's Reflections

Middle school is one of the most universally hated rites of passage in the U.S. And let's face it: it's with good reason - when else must one endure the growing pains, onset of puberty, ramped up academic requirements, and ever-shifting social landscape ALL AT ONCE? And for good measure, let's stick all of the kids going through this phase together in confined spaces for duration. I'd say that a close second to enduring middle school is parenting a child through those years. 

I realize that this intro might lead folks astray - our tween who is graduating middle school this week actually achieved some of her biggest accomplishments to-date, made some great friends, and is turning into a strong, confident young woman. But this is in spite of middle school, not because of it. So as I look to parent our other kids through their middle school years, I've cobbled together a list of lessons learned and shared wisdom from other tween parents so that I might be wiser the next time around. Please add your thoughts - because boy, does it take a village.

• Teach perspective. If I have one mantra in parenting, it is "perspective", and believe me, I chanted it endlessly throughout the past couple of years. Because everything - the good and the bad - seems amplified in the middle school years, I tried my darndest to give our tween perspective on whatever drama was going on at the moment. Perspective that today's perceived snub wasn't the end-all-be-all of lunchroom dynamics. Perspective that one bad exam score did not doom her to never getting into college. Perspective that a sports injury didn't mean giving up a sport she loves forever. Perspective that just because "Everyone watched Glee last night" she wasn't going to be a social pariah if she had to wait until the weekend to see it. It seems that middle schools are the birthing grounds for peer pressure, so I figure that coaching her now to realize (or at least consider) that there are many paths/options/choices out there is an act of self-preservation (hers and mine).
• Form a family policy on technology. Whatever your views on mobile phones, Facebook, Formspring, and the like, get out ahead of technology and your tween and make an informed opinion. As parents, we need to be aware of  the digital landscape before our tweens are - both the risks and the rewards. Make whatever policy makes sense for your family but have and articulate a stand on mobile phone usage, texting, social networking, etc. Be clear with your expectations and boundaries (e.g. "No Facebook until you're 13" or "Yes, you can have access to a family Facebook profile") and monitor how they engage. I don't know of a single middle school where Facebook isn't prevalent, so I highly recommend chatting with other parents about how they have established technology standards in their families.
• Read what she's reading in English class. This is something that I've tried to do but wish I had done more of. Middle school English also functions as a very rigorous book club, and if you've read the same book she has, you'll be amazed by the conversations you'll start and continue years later. We read "The Giver" by Lois Lowry, and to this day the themes raised in the book come up in conversation. Sharing her reading list gives you wonderful substantive conversation fodder, helps her to further develop her arguments for class, and keeps your brain from turning to mush (All things in moderation folks, even People magazine.).
• Teach stress management. Middle school algebra may strain your mind a bit, but the skills you learned to cope with exams, manage stress in school, and get a grip on a fear of public speaking are still fresh in your mind. Tweens will encounter pop-quizzes, final exams, and standardized tests for the first time in middle school - and it's gonna stress her out. Sharing the little tricks that worked for you can really help her calm the pre-test butterflies in her stomach. For more ideas, check out our Middle School Finals Care Package.
• Coach her in study skills. She's learning study skills in school already, but you can reinforce these at home. Post her big project due dates and tests on the family calendar (this has certainly helped me to NOT schedule a dinner meeting the night before). Talk about how you've broken down a big project before into smaller, more manageable tasks. Teach her that writing is supposed to be an iterative process - the more she's used to the concept of multiple drafts, the easier the feedback will be to take.
• Make home a home base. The later tween years are when kids "try on" different personas and take longer strides towards independence. They'll have their first school dances, attend inter-league sporting events, go to the school play with a group of friends, and much more without you. While it's a far cry from dropping them off at college, these little excursions are simultaneously fun and stressful: Will I fit in? How casual will other girls be? What if I don't see anyone I know? What if I run into the girl who was mean to me yesterday? Where will I sit at lunch? She's going to have to figure most of this out on her own, so do what you can to make home as safe as possible. For us, this means recognizing that our tweens need some downtime to just veg-out with music or with t.v. - any time that doesn't have to be productive is what you're going for here. Let her regress a bit and don't freak out when she suddenly demands to sleep with a hall light on, retrieves her once shelved stuffed animal, or suddenly craves more nesting time. The tween years are a tug and pull between young childhood and adolescence, and the small comforts of home are huge to help them make this transition.  This doesn't mean, however, letting her off the hook. Our Head of School recommends that parents keep the same standards for girls completing their chores even during exam week because it's routine, it reminds them of their role beyond being a student, and it's part of what everyone does in the family.
• Pack the bags the night before. This sounds silly, but honestly, I've found that as our tweens age, they're WORSE at keeping track of their stuff. Maybe it's because they've got so much more going on, or maybe keeping track of their multiple class binders is all that their minds can handle at the moment, but I've made more "emergency" mid-day school deliveries than I care to admit. Institute a rule that all bags - school, soccer, swimming, etc. - be packed the night before no matter how late they're up doing homework. It'll save her a lot of last minute angst.
• Model moderation. I'm not a doctor, but I seems to me that tween girls develop ravenous sugar cravings in middle school. Our kids like treats as much as the next ones, but candy has become a big thing in our house. I'm trying hard not to freak out too much, so I consulted our pediatrician (and our dentist). It turns out that our girls are not alone in their sugar rush, and they counseled me to keep an eye on three things: 1) Make sure that on balance, the girls eat well (so think back to the baby years when you evaluated what they ate over the course of a week) - they're going to have good days and bad. To avoid battles over food, keep an eye on what they ate over the week rather than the day (chances are they are successfully self-moderating after a sugar binge day). When in doubt, consult with your pediatrician. 2) When the sugar intake goes up, so does the level of activity. Introduce a new sport or institute family walks after dinner to counterbalance the increase in desk time and t.v. time during the tween years. And parents, this means you've got to get up and move too. 3) Make certain that dental hygiene doesn't slip - this is doubly important if she's got braces. Her friends will likely let her know if she's forgotten to brush her teeth that morning, but now that she's got her adult teeth, she's got to take care of them for the long-term.

Dear readers, what advice would you add? Please join the discussion on Facebook or by posting a comment below.

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A Middle School Finals Care Package

These days our middle school tweens are busy prepping for their final exams (blissfully, the elementary-school-age tween does not yet have finals). Remembering back to our own exam weeks and the sense of desperation we recall, we were inspired to put together a Middle School Finals Care Package. Here's what we included:

• Good & Plenty candies (black licorice has tummy-soothing properties and re-energizes tired brains)
• Sugarless mint gum (the big can; enough to help stave off the inevitable fingernail biting for a little bit; Freedent gum is easiest on those with braces)
• New nail polish (here's the trick: tweens are loathe to scuff up a new manicure; waiting for the polish to dry gives them uninterrupted reading time - plus there's incentive to not bite their nails when they look so good)
• Package of hair ties (anything to help keep her hair off her face while she studies)
• Vitamin Waters (we bought a package of mini-bottles as a treat that wasn't soda; our tweens love that they contain vitamins to help them focus - we chose "Focus", "Spark", and "Energy")
• Burt's Bees Blemish Stick (stress causes breakouts, and this formula is all natural and not overpowering)
• Lavender scented candle (lavender fragrance has a calming effect, and there's something comforting about lighting a candle; obviously do this only when there is adult supervision)
• Mint flavored lip balm (to comfort those bitten lips - plus mint has cooling and invigorating effects)
• Box of chamomile tea (a terrific, caffeine-free way to wind down after a study session)

As a bonus, all of the items listed above were available at our local CVS/drugstore - one stop shopping and thus stress-free for the parents!

What items would you add to the Middle School Finals Care Package?

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The Cutest Nite Lites!

We've always loved Ikea for their reasonably priced furniture and cool design - and now we can add "cute" to that list. Check out these adorable "ghost" nite lites from Ikea. They come in green, blue and red and fit nicely in the palm of your hand. And at $15 apiece, they won't break the bank - what a great idea for a camp care package! Unfortunately these little gems are not available online, so you'll have to head down to the Ikea nearest you to snag one - but oh, so worth the trip!